Calorine and Daisy and Me
by variousflumps
Summary: Before Kate divorced Richard she had a baby called Daisy. And now Daisy's three and her favourite person in the whole wide world is Caroline Elliot. And that's Kate's favourite person too, of course, although Caroline doesn't know it. So how is Kate going to balance the demands of her smitten daughter without falling even further in love with her boss?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: It's almost Tango time! Hurrah and hurray and what a long wait it was. This story is my little celebration, it's in seven chapters so I'll be posting one chapter a week while Tango is airing (and then one more after it's finished). Thanks so much for reading!**

**Chapter One: Head Over Heels**

"Calorine, Calorine!"

The three year-old in her arms struggles to escape from her, wriggling madly.

"Down Mummy, down!"

Kate sets her down and watches in amusement as her daughter immediately sets off at a sprint, her face full of joy. When she reaches her destination she misjudges her speed and practically crashes into Caroline's legs, still beaming from ear to ear.

"Hello Daisy, how are you?" says Caroline as she smiles and reaches down to stroke Daisy's hair. Kate's still at least 10 feet away, Daisy being a surprisingly fast runner for such a small person.

"Calorine! Want cuddle!"

Caroline dutifully bends down and offers a cuddle.

"No! Proper cuddle!"

Caroline offers her arms again but Daisy pouts and crosses her arms angrily. She'd better save her from the approaching tantrum.

"That means picking her up, you'll need to pick her up I'm afraid."

Her boss smiles gratefully at her for the translation and picks Daisy up carefully, transforming the pout into another big smile.

"Hello," says Kate sheepishly. "Sorry about that."

"Don't be daft, she's wonderful. I can't remember the last time someone was so pleased to see me."

I can, thinks Kate. I can remember the last one thousand times, and that's not even counting my daughter.

"Everything going well?"

"Yes, Jane seems to have everything under control, a well-oiled machine like usual."

The summer fair had been a Sulgrave tradition for at least 50 years, with Jane Aspinall in charge for the last 10.

"Are Lawrence and William here?"

"Lawrence is, William claims he's too old for apple bobbing and egg and spoon races. He may have a point, I suppose, but Lawrence is enjoying himself."

"Daisy heard about the bouncy castle."

"Bounce Mummy!"

"Yes, sweetheart, soon."

"Now Mummy! Want bounce!"

"Oh dear, I shouldn't have said that."

"It's all right, why don't I take her? You can get yourself a drink, have a bit of a break and a wander round."

"Are you sure? I don't want to impose."

"Nonsense. You're hardly an imposition are you my love?"

Daisy looks at her, puzzled. "Bounce?" she says hopefully.

Caroline laughs. "Yes, bounce now. Come on. See you in a bit Kate, I'll find you when we've finished bouncing."

She watches as they walk away, smiling as Daisy asks her whether she'll be coming on the bouncy castle too. Now that she would pay to see.

"Kate, you made it."

"Oh, hi Jane."

"Have you only just got here? We should get you some food."

"That'd be great, thank you."

"Come along."

Half an hour later she's sitting with Jane on a picnic blanket, watching all the fun of the fair. It's a beautiful afternoon, the sun shining and a few candyfloss clouds in the bright blue sky. Jane's telling a story about the famous incident of a few years back when the geography master got his foot stuck down a rabbit hole. She's only half-listening, her mind drifting as it always does to her boss.

It was best to try to keep her distance. They weren't friends, after all; she hadn't ever seen Caroline form a real friendship with one of her employees. They were as friendly as they needed to be and that suited her just fine; it was the only way she was going to keep her feelings under control.

The only problem was that from the moment her daughter learned how to ask for what she wanted, she'd wanted Caroline. "Want Ca-Ca" had been one of the first sentences she ever uttered; it had taken her a month to figure out what she meant, until she'd taken her into Caroline's office one lunchtime and Daisy had lit up like a Christmas tree. "Calorine" had come more recently, along with more frequent requests to see her.

She'd tried to keep a lid on it as much as possible, which worked to a certain extent, very young children being easily distracted. But Daisy had never forgotten about her. Every time she'd seen her since she'd become more enchanted, and Caroline in turn had seemed to become more and more fond of her. She'd tried to keep Daisy away from school events and the staffroom lately, just to avoid fuelling the fire, but if today's reaction was anything to go by that had completely backfired – she'd just made her miss her more. Goodness knows what she was going to do now.

After a while she spots Caroline in the crowd, walking over to them with Daisy cuddled into her shoulder. Her heart skips a beat. It's not easy, seeing them together like this, seeing how much they love each other. It makes her want things, impossible things...wanting Caroline as a girlfriend is one thing, but when the feelings involve Daisy, when she thinks about her as a parent to her child, it gets very, very painful very fast.

"All tired out?"

"Hi Jane. Yes, I think we're in need of a quiet sit down for a little while. We did an awful lot of bouncing, didn't we sweetheart?"

She sits down awkwardly on a blanket a few feet away, rearranging their body weight slightly to make Daisy more comfortable. She strokes her dark hair gently and the look on her face is so full of affection that Kate has to look away.

"Did I see you having a sneaky bounce there Dr Elliot?" asks Jane.

"You most certainly did not. I'm quite sure I would have popped the damn thing. Oh sorry, Kate, mustn't swear. Sorry Daisy. Naughty Caroline."

"No problem, don't worry. I think she's half-asleep anyway. I should get her a bouncy castle for the back garden if this is the effect it has on her."

"Might just be my scintillating company. Mm? Am I boring you to sleep, little one?"

Daisy snuggles in to her shoulder.

"Dr Elliot, I'm sorry to disturb you but we've finished all the races and we need you for the presentations."

"Ah right, Michael, of course. Kate, could you..."

She walks over and takes Daisy from her arms, careful not to make contact with her body. Caroline strokes her hair one last time before leaving with a final smile. She sits back down with Jane.

"Those two get along very well, don't they?"

"Caroline and Michael?" Maybe she can pretend she hasn't noticed. Doesn't think about it constantly.

"Caroline and Daisy. Two peas in a pod they are."

"Yes, I suppose they do. They are."

"She's always so thrilled when she sees her."

"Daisy or Caroline?" Or me, she thinks.

"I meant Daisy, but it's both of them, actually, isn't it? You wouldn't think she'd be so good with the really young ones but I think you underestimate her at your peril."

"Yes."

"They're not stupid, children, either, not by a long shot. They respond to people, don't they, they can tell who really loves them and who doesn't. Adults do that too, of course, but I think in children it's more instinctive."

She takes time to choose her words; if she's not careful this conversation could stray into dangerous territory.

"I suppose that's true. I don't think I'll ever have to worry about her being shy, she's friendly with everyone. Very sociable."

"Yes, that's good to know, isn't it, I used to worry terribly about my youngest when he wouldn't talk to grown-ups."

"Mummy, want a balloon."

"Oh, someone's woken up. What do you say, sweetheart?"

"Now!"

She stifles her grin with difficulty. "No, what do we say when we want something?"

"Please, Mummy."

"Good girl."

"Do you want to come with me, Daisy?" says Jane. "I know where all the best balloons are."

"Calorine," says Daisy firmly.

"Caroline's not here, love, how about coming with me?"

"Want Calorine!"

"Sweetheart, if you go with Jane then I promise you we'll find Caroline later on and you can show her your balloon, OK? She'll be very impressed I expect. Off you go."

After a few moments of reluctance Daisy takes hold of Jane's outstretched hand and they start to walk off.

"Can we get _two_ balloons and give one to Calorine?"

"What a good idea, let's get two." Jane turns around and grins at her.

Yep, she's very friendly, her daughter. Sociable with everyone. And – just like her mother – head over heels in love.


	2. Chapter 2 - Daisy's Party

**Chapter Two: Daisy's Party**

"Come in, come in. Excuse the appalling mess, Beverley's had me sorting through a billion years of budget paperwork for some ungodly reason."

The appalling mess appears to be three neat stacks of paper on her desk and another neat stack on a chair. She smiles at her and takes a seat.

"What can I do for you?"

Right. Yes. That. Her heart gives a slight flutter in her chest – she's never invited her to her home before. And she wouldn't be doing it now, if not for her smitten daughter. She takes a deep breath as surreptitiously as she can.

"Right. So. Daisy's going to be four in a few weeks, and we're having a party for her, about seven or eight of her nursery friends, pass the parcel, that sort of thing, you know. And the thing is, Caroline, she's been very insistent that, um, that she wants to invite you. And I've told her that you usually only invite children your own age but she's very determined, we were close to a full-on tantrum this morning, so...here."

She hands her the invitation, chosen by Daisy herself and decorated with a bright pink Peppa Pig.

"I'm sure you've got better things to do than listen to screaming kids on your weekend off, but if perhaps you could manage to come for a little while it really would mean the world to her. You know how much she loves you."

She stops talking a bit abruptly, awkward, her own feelings too close to the surface. Caroline's opened the invitation and is reading it with a big grin on her face.

"You've even spelled my name correctly."

To Calorine, she'd written. She couldn't resist.

"I'd love to come."

"Are you sure? It can't be what you'd choose to do of a Saturday."

"What, watch a lovely little girl have the time of her life? Sounds splendid. Does she have any present requests?"

"Oh, no, you don't have to buy her anything, there's no need."

Caroline looks at her curiously.

"If I'm coming to her party I'm buying her a gift. What are four year-olds into nowadays, apart from this pig person who looks rather like she was drawn by Picasso?"

"Well, she does love Shaun the sheep, maybe something with him on? Don't go to any trouble."

"No trouble at all, I'll look forward it to it. Shaun the sheep, is he from the Wallace and Gromit films?"

"That's the one. Although he's got his own show now, too, so...so..." She can't think of a single sensible way to end that sentence. So he must be very talented? So he's really gone up in the world?

"So a soft toy Shaun, something along those lines?"

"That sounds perfect."

"Good. Could you please thank Daisy for the invite and tell her I'd be delighted to come."

"Great. Thanks Caroline, it's very good of you. See you later."

"See you later."

* * *

><p>The doorbell rings and Daisy's at the door in a flash, waiting impatiently for someone tall enough to reach the handle. Kate opens it to reveal one of Daisy's friends from nursery, along with his mum.<p>

"Not Calorine."

"No, sweetheart, look it's Robert. Say hello to Robert."

"Hello. When's Calorine coming?"

"Very soon, love. Oh wow, look what Robert's brought!"

Robert's brought a large present. Lucky for him, she thinks, as he was about two seconds away from being sent home as a major disappointment. Daisy rips half the wrapping paper off before she can stop her; she exchanges a wry glance with Robert's mum.

"Why don't you two go and play in the living room with Daddy? Off you go."

They run off together happily and she takes Robert's mum into the kitchen until the next small guest arrives. And then another. And another. Five guests later and she's beginning to worry – Daisy almost cried at the sight of poor Annabel. One more letdown and they might be in serious trouble.

The doorbell rings again and she prays silently for it to be her. She hears Richard open the door and greet someone and then a loud "Calorine, Calorine!" relieves the tension that was beginning to build. Thank God for that. The only problem being that a new kind of tension is quick to take its place.

When she reaches the door Daisy has already got her present in one hand and Caroline in the other, babbling excitedly about the fact that it's her birthday and she's got lots and lots of presents and there's going to be painting later.

"Caroline, hi. I'm glad you could make it." You have no idea.

"Of course, wouldn't have missed this for the world! Now, remind me, how old are you today sweetheart?"

"I'm four! Mummy look, Shaun sheep, he's fluffy mummy, he's for me."

"He's very nice, isn't he? Did you say thank you?"

"Thank you Calorine. Come paint now."

"Ooh I'd love to. I was never very good at art though, you might have to help me."

"I can help you, it's _easy_, I'll show you."

Caroline smiles at her as she passes, Daisy leading her firmly by the hand.

* * *

><p>"Thank you for having me," Caroline says, smiling. "I had a very nice time."<p>

"You're very welcome," she says, "Thank you for coming, it made all the difference to Daisy. Oh, um, wait, wait just a second, I have something for you." She nips into the kitchen and picks up one of the party bags, heading back out to hand it to a grinning Caroline.

"Thank you. Gosh, lots of goodies."

"You've got bubble mixture, a miniature Peppa Pig, a whirry flying thing, a piece of birthday cake and some sweeties. Don't eat them all at once."

"That's my entertainment for the evening."

"It really was good of you to come, I'm sure this wasn't your idea of a good time."

Caroline studies her for a few moments; she can feel a blush start to rise on her cheeks.

"I don't know why you keep saying that. I love spending time with Daisy, you know I do. With you both."

The blush deepens, but Caroline's expression is open and honest – she's clearly just being polite to a friend.

"She had a wonderful time."

"Good. She deserves it, lovely little thing. I'll see you on Monday, all right?"

"OK. Bye now. Bye."

Caroline heads to her car and Kate shuts the door, closing her eyes and sighing heavily. "I love spending time with Daisy. With you both." Which meant, of course, that she loved spending time with Daisy and didn't mind spending time with Kate. But still, it was better than nothing. It would keep her going for a while.

* * *

><p>One hour later they've almost finished clearing up the astonishing mess that can be made by a handful of small children having fun. The excitement of it all has finally got too much for Daisy and she's sprawled on the sofa, limbs everywhere, fast asleep with her new cuddly sheep gripped firmly in her hand.<p>

"So what's the deal, Kate? Are you really not going to tell her?"

"Nope."

"Why not? I know you like her. You told me she's been single since her divorce. She adores Daisy, they were as thick as thieves all afternoon. If Daisy's going to get another step-mum isn't it a good idea to find someone she approves of?"

"Richard...it's not even...it's not even a possibility, let alone...it's never happening, not in a million years, she's obviously straight as an arrow and she's my boss and it's just me being crazy. It would be a lot more helpful if you could talk me down from my ridiculous ledge instead of encouraging me."

"Sorry. I thought I was helping."

"List all of her many and obvious faults, then. Persuade me it would never work."

He thinks for a few moments, drawing a blank.

"Richard!"

"She seemed really nice! The Oxbridge chemistry doctorate is damn impressive."

"You're useless."

There's quiet for a few moments as they continue to tidy up.

"Her snail painting was rubbish. Looked more like a Viennese whirl."

Her lips start to smile without her permission. "Oh well then. That settles it."

"I don't understand you. I thought the whole point of us breaking up was so that you could be-"

"What?"

"You know what."

"A raving lesbian?"

"Yourself. So you could be yourself."

"I am myself. I don't need someone else for that."

"You're deliberately misunderstanding me. What was the point in us getting divorced if you're going to be alone? You dated that Sadie woman for all of two minutes, you got through the others even faster."

"Sally. Three months. And I resent the implication that I've behaved badly."

"I'm not saying badly, Kate, but if you don't want to be alone for the rest of your life you're going the wrong way about it."

"Look, I know you're ensconced in your perfect bubble of love with Jessica but that doesn't mean I'm some sad desperate singleton."

"That's not my point."

"What is your point?" The anger is building inside of her. This isn't the first time he's tried to lecture her on her love life.

"If you're happy by yourself then that's fantastic. But I think you're the kind of woman who needs a partner."

"What the _hell_ is that supposed to mean?"

He shrinks back from her slightly, taken aback by her fury. "Wow, wait, I didn't mean...I didn't mean that you can't manage by yourself, that you need someone to prop you up. I meant...I meant that you're a people person, you love people, you're not a loner. I think you should have someone to love, that's all."

The anger drains away. "It's not that easy, Richard. You don't know what it's like. A straight man finds a woman he fancies and there's a good chance she'll feel the same way. You married the first woman you liked after you and I broke up. My odds aren't like that."

He studies her. "We're talking about Caroline again."

She sighs, turning away from him. "I don't want to talk about Caroline."

"Everything we went through Katie, all that pain...you know I've tried to never blame you for any of it, I tried to be understanding."

"I know you did. You were."

"The thing I kept telling myself was that I could never make you as happy as you deserved to be, so we were doing the right thing and eventually, in the end, we'd both be better off. And now, I'm not sure you're happy at all. You hardly leave the house. Three years since the divorce and you had a few months of various women and then self-imposed solitude, more or less, and I don't understand it. How long are you going to be alone Katie? I want you to be happy. I mean you're the mother of my child for God's sake. After everything we went through, I can honestly say now that I want you to be happy."

"I know, Richard. I do know that."

He smiles sadly at her; it feels like there's nothing more to say. He rests his hand briefly on her shoulder and then heads out to the garden with a bag of rubbish. She clears away the remainder of the mess methodically, wiping remnants of paint from her hands at intervals, trying not to think about her empty love life.

When she sees the painting she pauses briefly, taking in the bright colours, the wobbly lines. It really is rubbish, she thinks, and she finds herself smiling until she notices the small signature in the bottom right-hand corner, 'Calorine Elliot', surname and all, written in careful, neat letters in black marker pen. Something about it touches her heart so deeply that she grabs hold of the painting and in a sudden flash of anger, rips it in two.


	3. Chapter 3 - Peppa Pig's Big Splash

**Chapter Three: Peppa Pig's Big Splash**

Kate shuts the car door with a satisfying thump and puts the key in the ignition. Finally. What she needs after a week like that is a long lie down in a darkened room. And a few vats of wine. Whoever told her that working in a private school would be a doddle had obviously never met 9F.

She's about to start the car when there's a knock on the window and she finds herself looking at the one person in the world she'd been trying to avoid.

After the bittersweet emotion of seeing Caroline at her daughter's party she'd settled on the only sensible plan – to stay as far away from her as possible. And things had been going pretty well, at least at work. She'd been professional and polite but had kept their interaction to a bare minimum. Caroline had never been the sort of person to stand around chatting, so it hadn't been difficult to naturally cut off any conversation that felt a bit too friendly and get back to work. In fact, she was probably getting extra brownie points for her laser-eyed focus on her job.

Her home life had proved much more challenging. A month without any kind of contact with Caroline had left her daughter upset and confused, asking after her regularly, demanding to know when she'd next see her. She'd fobbed her off at first, said that Caroline was busy or that she'd see her soon enough, but Daisy wasn't daft. She knew that her mummy worked in the same place as the object of her affection and she'd started wailing every time Kate dropped her off at nursery rather than taking her to Sulgrave Heath.

But she couldn't see an alternative. Any more time spent with Caroline and she was going to make a fool of herself, and that might well leave her without a job, or at least without a job she'd ever want to go to again. The only other option was to somehow persuade Caroline to look after Daisy on her own sometimes, but she'd been able to think of precisely zero excuses as to why that might be necessary. Once, yes, emergency babysitting for a colleague, but Daisy would never be satisfied with just once. So she was stuck.

She rolls the window down, the butterflies invading her stomach.

"Caroline, hi. I was just heading home."

"Yes, of course, I won't keep you. I was just wondering if I could interest you in Peppa Pig's Big Splash?"

"I...interest me in...pardon?"

"It's a theatre production, it's a live version of Peppa Pig, it's on at Harrogate Theatre. Daisy was telling me all about the whole Peppa Pig family at her party, she really loves them, and to be honest Kate...well, to be absolutely honest I may have already bought us the tickets. They hardly had any left when I looked and I wanted to make sure and...it's a fortnight tomorrow, a matinee for children, well obviously it's for children, it's Peppa Pig, there's not a deeply nuanced adult version in the evenings. What do you think, are you free?"

She quickly runs through excuses in her head – she's busy. Daisy's busy. Daisy's very, very busy. For God's sake, she thinks. This awful, wonderful woman.

"That sounds fantastic, Caroline, thank you. It's so thoughtful."

"You think she'll like it?"

She'd like it if you sat with her on the floor and stared at the carpet.

"I'm sure she will. She'll be thrilled. Let me know how much I owe you."

"Oh no no no, my treat."

"I couldn't-"

"No arguments whatsoever, it's my idea and my treat. I'll look forward to it, we can arrange the driving and what have you another time. Bye for now, see you Monday."

"Bye."

She watches as she struts across the car park, high heels clicking, the tight business suit hugging every curve of her body. Her own body responds predictably to the sight. There goes avoidance.

* * *

><p>This, clearly, is going to be the best day of Daisy's whole life. Kate's been watching her daughter more than she's been watching the show in front of her, but she can't help it – she's never seen her quite this happy before. The excitement of it all meant that it had been a serious struggle to get her to stay in her seat at first; they'd had to resort to Caroline's headteacher voice to stop her bouncing off the walls, but now the show's started she's enchanted.<p>

Caroline. Casual in her jeans and soft jumper, hair a little untidier than usual, shoes unusually flat. Beaming at them both when they picked her up, listening to Daisy explain the Pig family tree during the entire journey. Taking Daisy's hand and leading her into the theatre, buying her a programme and sweets and behaving like there's nowhere else in the world she'd rather be than here, watching grown adults play the fool in giant pig costumes.

Music starts playing for a sing-a-long and she hears Daisy start to sing. And then...no, surely she's not...

She is. She actually is. Dr Caroline Elliot, Oxbridge graduate and PhD, is singing the Bing Bong Song.

Kate stares at her in amazement. Caroline notices her looking and gives her a slightly sheepish smile but doesn't stop singing, peering over Daisy's shoulder periodically to read the lyrics on the programme. Kate raises an eyebrow at her but Caroline just grins and sings louder, giving Kate a pointed look over her reading glasses as if to highlight her disappointing lack of participation.

For a few precious moment she indulges in the fantasy. This is her family, Caroline, Daisy and herself, out for the afternoon enjoying themselves. They'll go back to their house, give Daisy her tea, put her to bed and then Caroline will hold her, kiss her, tell her how much she loves her. Show her how much she loves her. This is everything she's ever wanted in the world.

A large singing carrot interrupts her revelry. Best not to think about the impossible. You can survive on this, this growing friendship, she thinks. She loves your daughter and she quite likes you. That's enough. It'll have to be enough.

One hour later the show's over and they've arrived at Caroline's house, Daisy still chattering excitedly about everything she's seen.

"Thanks again Caroline, it really was good of you. What do we say Daisy?"

"With a bing and a bong and a bing and a bong-"

"OK, I think you can take that as a thank you."

"You're very welcome. See you on Monday. Bye bye Daisy."

"Nooo, Calorine, where are you going? Mummy, no!"

Oh dear, she'd been afraid of this.

"Caroline's going home sweetheart, we've had a lovely time with her but she's going home now."

"Nooo, Calorine stay for tea mummy, _why_ is she going home, it's not fair!"

"Come on, sweetheart, we've had a lovely time haven't we so let's not ruin it, Caroline has to see her own family."

"Not today mummy! Please!"

She looks nervously at Caroline, unsure of what to say.

"I'm sorry about this."

"No, no, it's all right. Would you...I mean, would I be imposing if I-"

Daisy starts to cry.

"You could come round for tea, for Daisy's tea, I mean, we could have you home in a few hours? I don't want to take up your entire Saturday."

"If that's all right with you?"

"Of course. OK Daisy?"

"Calorine coming with us?"

"Yes sweetheart, Calor-, I mean, Caroline's coming with us." Caroline's grinning at her, quickening her heartbeat, drawing her back into the fantasy. She starts the car and tries unsuccessfully to think of anything apart from the prospect of Caroline in her home again.

* * *

><p>Having put away an impressive amount of pasta and veg, encouraged by her favourite friend, Daisy's finally calmed down from her high and has draped herself over Caroline on the sofa.<p>

"Almost bedtime by the looks of it, come on munchkin." She goes to pick her up but Caroline stops her.

"Just a few more minutes, Kate. You need to enjoy this stage, you know, they grow out of it so fast. A few more years and they don't let you cuddle them like this. Lawrence barely lets me near him now unless he's upset."

She's stroking Daisy's hair, her other arm wrapped around her. Kate reaches out to stroke her daughter's cheek and her fingers brush softly against Caroline's. Their eyes meet and for a few moments they gaze at each other, Kate's heart full of longing. She tears her eyes away with difficulty.

"Right, I should really get her upstairs. Come on Daisy."

Caroline frowns slightly but surrenders her hold on Daisy and they awkwardly transfer her from Caroline's arms to hers, Kate sitting on the sofa beside her and Caroline leaning into her, fuelling the desire to kiss her. Their eyes meet again and she can't decipher her expression – she looks serious, earnest. Beautiful. She longs to kiss her lips. With effort she stands up and walks quickly out of the room without a word.

When she comes downstairs again Caroline's already waiting at the front door.

"I should get going, thank you for a lovely day."

"Oh, no, thank you, thank you for thinking of it. You could stay for dinner if you like, I haven't got much in but-"

"I really should get home, Kate, I've got a pile of work to get through."

On a Saturday evening? Have you really?

"Of course, I understand. See you soon."

"See you soon. Bye."

She closes the door behind her and stands there. Well that was a fast departure. Christ, she didn't see it did she, when they were...she didn't read the look in her eyes? Oh God, that must be it, the first sign of Sapphic desire and she runs for the hills. Well that's just great.

So she's officially back to square one. Two people in love with Dr Elliot and absolutely no way for them both to be happy.


	4. Chapter 4 - Confessions

**Author's note: I honestly don't know what to say about canon events lately so I'll just tell you that fanfic has always been my happy place. My warm, fluffy happy place. And this story is going to have a great big warm fluffy ending. So there.**

**Chapter Four: Confessions**

It was Peppa Pig's fault. If Daisy hadn't experienced the ecstasy of over-sized dancing pigs while sitting next to a certain headmistress Kate might have found a way to persuade her daughter that there were other things in the world besides Caroline. But the theatre trip had cemented Caroline's place in Daisy's heart and Kate had reluctantly surrendered to the inevitable.

Despite what she'd thought, Caroline had apparently not noticed her desire at all, or if she'd noticed it she'd quickly got over her discomfort, because the invitations had come thick and fast. In the last month they'd been to the park, the soft play centre, the local toy shop and even, to Kate's dismay, to Caroline's house. She'd stood nervously in the beautiful kitchen and talked to William in his schoolboy French while listening to the squeals of joy coming from the garden. When they'd come back inside they'd both been drenched. She'd had to bite her tongue rather than ask why a mother of two teenagers owned a suspiciously pristine-looking Postman Pat water gun.

It had been wonderful and terrible all at once. Her daughter had been in heaven, but for her...she'd been dating her, to all intents and purposes, only she was never allowed to touch. Never allowed to hug her hello, to kiss her goodnight. Never allowed to run her hands through her golden hair, to stroke her cheek when she was adorable, to take her hand and soothe her when the traffic was sending her into a rage.

They were friends now, certainly. Their polite but distant professional relationship had turned into a genuine friendship. Each time they were alone together after putting Daisy to bed Caroline would open up to her a little more, sharing a few more details of her life, and Kate would fall a little further in love. She'd started to talk about her own life too, about the divorce, about Richard, even about the three miscarriages, when Caroline had held her hand silently, the only time she'd ever touched her. She'd felt the warmth of her hand for hours afterwards.

One topic, of course, was off limits. There was a good chance that she knew about her sexuality already, of course, the school grapevine being what it was, but she hoped that they could discreetly avoid the subject. Caroline didn't seem like someone who would be homophobic but you could never really tell, and besides, questions about her love life would immediately lead to the real danger area. It would be best for everyone if they could all be thoroughly British about it and ignore the rainbow-coloured elephant in the room.

Tonight they were at Kate's house after a long, lazy afternoon in the park, and she was about to put Daisy to bed.

"Calorine read me a story."

"Would your Mummy mind? Kate, is that all right?"

"Is it all right with you? Sorry, she loves a bedtime story, I should've guessed you'd be roped into it."

"I'd love to, haven't done this in ages. You don't mind?"

She smiles at her. "Of course not. As long as you're not scared of Gruffalos."

"Don't be silly Mummy, the Grufflo isn't scary, he's nice. Mummy's not as brave as I am sometimes."

"I'll come up to tuck you in in a little while, OK? Will you show Caroline where your toothbrush is?"

Daisy nods and leads her charge by the hand, Caroline following meekly in her wake. A woman who has been known to make grown men cry and she turns her into a puppy dog.

When she joins them 15 minutes later she arrives at the end of the story, Daisy already in bed. Caroline's sitting on the chair beside her bed and reading in a tone of voice she's never heard her use before, soft and calm and soothing.

"All was quite in the deep dark wood; the mouse found a nut and the nut was good. The end."

She watches, hypnotised, as Caroline leans down and gently, ever so gently, kisses her sleeping daughter on the forehead. She suddenly has to escape.

"Bathroom break," she blurts out, startling Caroline, "see you downstairs."

Inside the bathroom she closes the door and stares at her own reflection. This has to stop, it has to. She can't keep getting closer, she can't handle her being in the house, being so kind to Daisy, loving her so much. Something's going to snap.

Just get through tonight, she thinks, get through the next half an hour, pretend you're tired and send her home. And then figure out a way to keep her in Daisy's life and get her out of your own.

She heads back downstairs, bracing herself, trying her best to smile normally at Caroline. There's a slightly uncomfortable silence for a few moments before Caroline speaks.

"I think we should talk."

Her voice is quiet and serious; she's staring at the carpet. Her pulse rate quickens slightly.

"You and I have been spending more time together recently, because of Daisy, and I'm aware that there are times when that has perhaps not been particularly easy for you."

Oh Christ, she's really saying it. She didn't think she'd ever do this, she'd been sure that even if Caroline had noticed her attraction she'd politely ignore it and carry on as usual. But she's apparently decided she needs to let her down gently. Oh dear God.

"I know it's not, er, that it can be a bit strange to be around your boss so much, out of school, and I just wanted to let you know that I do understand that."

Wait, what? Her boss?

"I don't...I'm not sure I understand."

"I'm saying that I realize that you might prefer not to socialize quite so much with your employer, I understand why you wouldn't. Perhaps we could sort out an arrangement where I take Daisy to the park sometimes, just the two of us. That might work, don't you think?"

No, no, no, what's happening? Has she actually guessed after all, she's just finding a way to get away from her without talking about it?

"If that's...if that's what you want."

She can feel her eyes on her now; it takes real effort to return her gaze.

"I thought that's what you would prefer."

"Did you?" Kate says quietly. She's lost, she has no idea whether they're on the same page or not.

"Yes. I did. Kate, I think we've known each other long enough to be honest. You apologise every time we see each other out of school, you apologise for Daisy wanting to spend time with me, there are times when I think we're really becoming friends but at other times I seem to make you so uncomfortable...it's unusual to be socializing with your boss, I understand that it can't be easy for you and I don't want you to be uneasy, to impinge on your time away from school."

The sincerity is clear in her eyes. She hasn't guessed at all.

"It's really not like that, Caroline. It really isn't."

"Kate, you don't have to be polite, I've told you I understand."

"It's not like that," she says weakly. She can tell that Caroline doesn't believe her.

"All right. Well. If you're happy with the way things are..."

Is she? Richard's words come back to her; three years of solitude. How long are you going to be alone, Katie? For how long?

"The truth is..." She takes a sip of her apple juice, wishing it was wine. "The truth is that it's not because you're my boss."

"Then why?" She looks so confused.

"It's because...OK, look. I'm assuming that you've heard certain...rumours, about me. About my personal life."

"Rumours?"

"Yes. Have you?"

A pause.

"I try not to listen to gossip."

"Right, but if you did listen to it, you would have heard some things about me? One thing in particular?"

Another pause. It feels like there's not enough oxygen in the room.

"Yes."

"And what would that be?"

She wants to make Caroline say it, to hear how she phrases it, to listen for any disapproval in her voice.

"One particular rumour would indicate that you've had relationships with women."

There's nothing there for her to analyse – it sounded factual, a simple statement. Her voice sounded perfectly calm. From the corner of her eye she can see Caroline place her glass on the coffee table.

"So. Having heard that, having noticed that things are a bit...awkward, sometimes, between us, that I'm a bit awkward...you're an intelligent woman, Caroline, can I leave you to fill in the rest?"

There's a long silence, Caroline motionless beside her.

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

There's an edge to her voice that she can't identify. Is she offended? Disgusted?

"Honestly? Not any time soon."

"Why not?" she says tightly.

"Because. I knew what the response would be."

"Because I'm straight?"

"Yes."

She steals a look at her; she can't decipher the expression on her face, but there's worry there, certainly.

"I'm not sure...I'm not sure that describing me as straight would be..."

Her pulse starts racing. Surely the only end to that sentence is...

"…would be 100% honest."

She leans forward and places her glass on the table as carefully as she can manage, trying to stay calm.

"Would it be 99% honest?" she says, trying to sound casual, teasing.

"I would think that anything near the nineties would be rather on the high side. Very high." Her voice is so quiet now, her head lowered. She wants to hug her, to comfort her. To jump up and down with joy.

"I didn't know."

"No. No. Bit of a state secret."

"Thank you for being honest with me. For trusting me."

"I do trust you."

"I'm glad."

There's one more unanswered question, of course, but she can't quite make herself ask it. They sit in an awkward silence for what feels like hours until she can't bear it anymore.

"I think Daisy noticed before you did."

Caroline studies her, frowning. "What do you mean?"

"I think perhaps she might have picked up on my feelings for you and that's influenced how much she likes you. You can teach children prejudice, can't you, so easily, so maybe you can teach them...the opposite."

Her lips are slightly parted; she tries not to think about kissing them.

"Possibly. I think I'd prefer it if we decided that she liked me of her own accord, just because I'm so fabulous."

"Right. I'm sure that's right. She always has liked you, actually. Even as a baby." They smile at each other, the tension easing slightly.

"So what now?" says Caroline.

"That's up to you." Tell me, she thinks, tell me how you feel, what you want.

"We have a number of...complications."

"Yes. We do." She doesn't exactly sound thrilled. Her heart sinks.

"If we were to...we'd have to talk about things practically, ensure that we had a shared understanding of the situation."

So it's possible, she's not turning her down flat, but...but. She sounds like she's in a staff meeting, talking drily about the budget; there's no excitement there whatsoever.

"Right."

"What I mean is that we'd have to agree that we'd always be cordial, whatever happened, because I couldn't bear to hurt Daisy."

"Oh Caroline. Yes, no, you're right." She feels guilty for judging her, but she's still confused, unsure of where she stands.

"So...if we agreed to that, would you like to, potentially...have dinner one day? Just you and me?"

She's waited years for this moment and now it's here it feels so hollow it physically hurts.

"I think perhaps...not."

Caroline stares at her, shocked. "Not?"

"No. I think perhaps it's not such a good idea."

"But, I...I've _totally_ misunderstood, I'm so sorry-"

"You didn't misunderstand. But if I'm going to date someone then I'd like them to be happy about the idea. At least at the beginning, before they've worked out how dull I am." She gives her what she hopes is a breezy, forgiving smile.

"What are you talking about?"

"Caroline, you're not even smiling. You look like you're opening a bank account, not asking someone you like out for dinner. Please don't ask me because you think it's kind, it won't be in the long run."

"Oh, God, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to appear...I'm sorry. It's been hundreds of years since I've done this, 200 years since I've done this with a woman. I'm massively out of practice."

To her surprise, she realizes she's nervous – her hands are balled into fists, the knuckles almost white; her posture is stiff and tense. And she said 200 years since...she really isn't straight.

"I am happy about the idea, I promise you. I might not be able to show it right this second, but I am."

The look in her eyes is so obviously sincere that her mood lifts sharply.

"I believe you," she says softly. They share a tentative smile.

"So...dinner, do you think?"

"Definitely. How about a week today, Richard will have Daisy for most of the weekend. I can cook something for us, if you like."

"That sounds wonderful. A week today it is."

Kate tries unsuccessfully to clamp down on the megawatt smile on her face. A date, a real date with her. Only seven days to go.

"I'd best get going," Caroline says reluctantly, "I've a hundred and one things I've got to sort out before Monday morning."

"Right. OK. We'll talk soon?"

"We will."

They walk to the front door together, Kate wondering whether she'll allow a hug.

"Bye then," Caroline says, smiling. "Thank you for another lovely day."

"Bye, see you soon."

She pauses at the door and Kate seizes the moment, enfolding her gently into a hug. Caroline's arms slowly wind around her waist and they settle in to a warm, comfortable embrace. When Caroline eventually pulls back she's disappointed - she could have stayed in her arms for hours – but then she sees the mixture of affection, hope and entirely uncharacteristic shyness in her expression.

They smile at each other once more before Caroline leaves.

She's got a date with Dr Caroline Elliot.


	5. Chapter 5 - The Date

**Chapter Five: The Date**

"Caroline, I'm so sorry, I think there's going to have to be a change of plan."

"Oh. Right. Right, I understand."

Her heart leaps at the disappointment in her voice.

"I don't mean cancel the date, but what's happened is...well, Daisy found out that you're coming round, I'd told Richard to keep quiet about it and then he went and said your name when he thought she was in the garden, and you can probably guess the next bit. Richard took her with him anyway but he's just rung and the tantrum still hasn't stopped yet and she left here almost an hour ago. I don't like to cave into her with these things but I kind of feel like I lied to her, so I feel guilty now, and poor Richard's going to have an awful time of it-"

"Get her back, of course you should."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely! I can't tell you how nice it is to have someone so keen to see me. It makes such a change from teenage boys who grunt in my general direction."

"Thanks Caroline, I appreciate it. Could you maybe come round an hour earlier than we planned, so she can get her fill of you before she goes to bed?"

"I'll look forward to it. See you then."

"Oh, and Caroline?"

"Yes?"

"You realize you have two people who are that keen to see you, don't you?"

A small pause.

"Well I do now." She can hear her smile, maybe there's a hint of nerves too. "See you later."

"Bye."

* * *

><p>With Daisy safely tucked up in bed Kate ushers Caroline into the living room, a nervous tension invading her body as she joins her on the sofa. It had been a lovely, if ever so slightly awkward, start to the date. Daisy had been as happy as usual, but there had been a tangible awareness between the two women that this was far from a usual day.<p>

She'd caught Caroline watching her once or twice, averting her eyes the moment she looked up, and she'd had to work hard to keep her mind from wandering to what might take place later in the evening. They hadn't talked about the situation in front of Daisy, of course, but now that she was asleep...well. Now they're officially on a date.

And she can't think of a single thing to say to her. Not one single thing. And apparently Caroline's having the same problem.

Time drags on in silence. A hundred topics run through her mind – ask her about work, about the boys, about the girlfriend from 200 years ago, but for some reason she can't bring herself to break the ice. She fixes her gaze on the carpet.

She's starting to feel ridiculous, to think that this was a huge mistake, when...

"I think perhaps I need to give you a kiss."

"I...do you?"

"Yes. I think it would help. Would that be acceptable?"

Her heart is working triple time but her voice has stopped working altogether.

"Kate? Is that all right?"

"Yes, yes," she says quickly, before the offer gets withdrawn. "Yes."

Caroline leans into her. When she feels her soft lips make contact she's not quite ready for it and she can't seem to return the kiss, her heart thumping, all nerves and no pleasure. Caroline withdraws from her, eyes lowered, the disappointment clear in her voice.

"I'm sorry. Perhaps I should go."

"No, no, don't go, don't go. I wasn't, I wasn't ready. Kiss me again."

"Perhaps I should go."

"I don't want you to go. Kiss me again."

Caroline studies her warily but doesn't move. Kate reaches out for her hand and pulls her forwards and this time they lean in to each other slowly. At the first touch of her lips she's still full of nerves but she manages to kiss her back gently and after a few moments she feels the arousal begin to overtake her anxiety. The kiss deepens slightly, still a little tentative but she can feel the pleasure start to build inside of her. I'm kissing Dr Elliot, she thinks. It's really happening.

They pull apart briefly, gazing at each other, a burgeoning flush on Caroline's cheeks, before both leaning in again, and this time she doesn't hold back. She hears Caroline moan quietly as she intensifies the kiss, her hunger growing, sliding her arms around her waist and luxuriating in the sensual response of her mouth. Turns out that the reserved, serious, stern Dr Elliot really knows how to kiss a woman.

Eventually the intensity gets too much for her and she reluctantly breaks away, keenly aware of the flush on her face and the speed of her breathing. For a few seconds she can see an unguarded flash of desire in Caroline's eyes.

The anxious tension of five minutes ago has been replaced by a delicious sense of intimacy. Caroline reaches out and takes hold of her hand, tenderly stroking her palm. They share a few minutes of calm, a comfortable silence this time, Kate grateful for the chance to regroup. She's beginning to think about stealing another kiss when she hears Daisy start to cry over the monitor.

"Oh dear, I'd better go and look at her."

"Of course."

"Back in a sec."

In the 30 seconds it takes her get up the stairs Daisy's mild cries have turned into a full-on screaming fit.

"Mummy!" she wails, and Kate thinks wryly that it's nice to know that her daughter stills chooses her over Caroline occasionally.

Fifteen minutes and a lot of cuddling later the crying has stopped. She tucks her back into bed, whispering words of reassurance.

"You can go to sleep now, there are no nasty monsters I promise. I love you."

"I love you too mummy," says Daisy sleepily, melting Kate's heart. "And I love Daddy and I love Granny and Grandpa and I love hedgehogs and I love Calorine."

Kate gazes at her lovingly, gives her a final kiss and rejoins Caroline in the living room.

"Did you hear that?" she asks.

Caroline's smiling widely. "I did. Although I noticed that I came after hedgehogs."

"Oh no, hedgehogs are like unicorns around here. She told me the other day she wants to be a hedgehog when she grows up. You're in some very elite company if you're right after hedgehogs."

She takes her hand, needing to feel that connection between them again.

"She went back to sleep?"

"Yes, just a monster-related false alarm."

"Ah yes, the monsters. I remember them well."

They share a smile. Kate decides to take the plunge.

"I know this might be a little premature, but can I ask you, um, if you think...our first date seems to be going well, so would you like there to be a second?"

"Would you?"

"I asked first," she says teasingly.

"Yes. I would. You?"

"Yes."

"Good. Next weekend?"

"Maybe...maybe something sooner? One day in the week?"

"I would think that could be arranged, if you really can't wait."

She glares at her but Caroline just grins.

"Oh I can wait. I was only thinking about Daisy, she's the one who gets withdrawal symptoms. Me, I can take you or leave you."

"Is that right?"

"Mm-hm. Not bothered either way."

"It's funny, I think Daisy really opened my eyes to a few things."

"What do you mean?"

"I thought I might...what you said the other day, about Daisy picking up on your feelings...there was a time when I thought that maybe something similar was happening from my side, that I was conflating my feelings for you both somehow."

That doesn't sound good at all. Is she only here because she cares about her daughter?

"You thought that because you loved Daisy so much you'd transferred that onto me?"

"No, no, I meant...the other way round. I was always fond of Daisy, even as a tiny baby. The staff often bring their new babies into school, and I always like to have a cuddle but I never feel particularly...enamoured. But then I met Daisy and I felt...I adored her, she was so lovely, I used to look forward to seeing her so much. And it made me analyse things, a bit. Wonder why."

Kate listens in silence.

"And I realized that it was because she was _your_ baby, _your_ child. She looked so much like you, but it wasn't just that, there was something almost...automatic about it, that's not quite the word I want...something unconscious, intuitive. She was part of you and so I cared about her. Simple as that. And once I'd considered that for a while it made me realize that I had feelings for you, too."

She strokes her hand, moved beyond words.

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

Caroline smiles at the callback to their conversation a few weeks ago. "I was working up to it."

"We're talking about when Daisy was tiny!" she exclaims. "You've had four years!"

"I _was_ working up to it, really, but I was stuck with John until he helpfully had his mid-life crisis and after your own divorce I still thought you liked men. And then there was an intriguing rumour that you might be seeing a woman, not that I listen to gossip of course, but I may have inadvertently listened on that occasion. That was one step forwards and one step back though because gay and taken was no more use than straight and single.

"And more recently when I've known you were single I could never work you out. One minute we were all friends together and the next you couldn't get away fast enough! You went weeks without saying more than two words to me at work and I found that very…I thought the best thing to do was focus on Daisy, outings for her, and then I could still…it would be easier for you, and we could still…but even then Daisy was becoming more and more attached to me and you seemed to become more and more uncomfortable with it. You apologised twelve times an hour for the terrible inconvenience of Daisy's unbridled affection.

"It did fleetingly cross my mind that you might be attracted to me when you stopped talking to me, that you thought I was off-limits and you were trying to keep your distance, but it seemed much more likely that you were appalled by the notion of pretending to be pals with your bloody boss. So I'd as good as buried any idea of romance. I just kept clinging on to the rapidly receding notion that I could keep Daisy's affections even if you seemed uncomfortable with it sometimes, even if spending time with you was…well. Bittersweet. Difficult. For me."

Caroline suddenly seems enthralled by a few loose threads on a cushion cover, tracing them with her fingers and avoiding Kate's eyes. Kate gazes at her with affection.

"Then last week when I was putting Daisy to bed I thought you were so horrified by seeing the dragon lady boss kiss your daughter you'd had to go and fume in a cupboard. I thought that was it, all over with."

"God, Caroline, we should really have talked to each other. I've liked you for a long time. To tell you the truth – and please don't ever tell Richard this – but to tell you the truth I liked you when I was still married. I would never have acted on it, but I was doing some soul-searching at the time, and I think I knew exactly who I was deep down, but it would be fair to say that you, um, helped me to be sure. If you see what I mean."

An embarrassed blush spreads over her face; Caroline just smiles at her.

"That's rather flattering."

"It should be. You're beautiful, Caroline. That weekend when we went to the modern languages conference together…God, I'd been looking forward to it for weeks and then the reality of it was wonderful, but it stoked the attraction something fierce. All that time together in your car, hours and hours alone with you in full power-suit and killer heels headteacher mode and I went home and-"

"And...what?"

She avoids her gaze, embarrassed. "Nothing."

"No, what were you going to say?"

"Too much information. Shouldn't have said anything."

"Well now you have to tell me!"

She fiddles with the sleeve of her cardigan. "Would you like a coffee? Or some wine?"

"And now you _definitely_ have to tell me. Went home and what?"

"I...sort of...can we just say I took my frustrations out on my husband and leave it at that."

Caroline frowns at her. "Took your...oh. Oh."

"Yes. Oh."

A slow, pleased smile spreads over Caroline's face, together with more than a hint of desire.

"Well that's even more flattering. Although if you don't mind I'd prefer to labour under the illusion that you and Richard only slept together once for the sole purpose of procreation."

"Understood. Same rule for you and John. Twice."

"Absolutely."

"So, if you've liked me for years...that's a long time to be harbouring these...frustrations."

She has the most delicious expression on her face, a mix of arousal and happiness.

"Yes, I suppose it is. I wonder what possible solution there might be."

"Hmm. I'm sure we can think of something."

Caroline's hand strokes lightly up her thigh, pausing for a few moments and then, to her surprise, slips underneath her top to stroke the sensitive skin of her stomach. Each gentle touch sends a shiver of pleasure right through her, Caroline holding her gaze the entire time, her own pleasure at the contact written clearly on her face. She should have known that it wouldn't take long for her natural confidence to overcome her nerves. She's fantasized about going to bed with her for years, seeing exactly how that confidence might manifest itself during sex, how she would touch her, how she would lead. She knew it would be like this.

The touch of her fingertips gives way to a caress from her whole hand, palm flat against her stomach, the hand moving deliciously against her skin, the heat travelling directly to her core. It's maddeningly sexy. But an unwelcome voice at the back of her mind insists that they shouldn't rush things.

"On a first date, Dr Elliot? I'm shocked. Shocked I tell you." She's never been a good liar. She doesn't sound remotely shocked; she sounds breathy and highly aroused. The hand continues to stroke her, lightly, tenderly; she longs to move it downwards.

"It's your own fault, Miss McKenzie. You can't kiss a person like that and expect them to be unaffected."

The hand moves slowly downwards and one finger lightly traces a slow line along the top of her trousers. With all the willpower she can muster she places her hand over Caroline's and stills the movement before moving their joined hands to rest on her thigh.

"I want a second date. And a third and a fourth, come to that. We have time."

Caroline smiles her understanding, although the genuine disappointment on her face almost makes her change her mind. But Daisy's here, and for their first time she'd like an empty house and no interruptions. Besides, she can't imagine that Caroline's ever had sex on the first date before; she suspects that once the adrenaline and desire wears off she might be a little embarrassed.

"Much as it pains me to say it, Dr Elliot, I think perhaps I should send you home."

"Hmm. Perhaps you're right. I'll see you in the week though?"

She smiles at the barely-disguised eagerness in her voice.

"Yes," she says. "You most certainly will."


	6. Chapter 6 - Daisy Finds Out

**Chapter Six: Daisy Finds Out**

She knows she's staring but somehow can't stop. She has the most ridiculously kissable lips. And now she knows how they feel against her own, how insanely exciting it is to be kissed by an aroused, eager Dr Elliot, she can't stop thinking about it. Hasn't stopped thinking about it for days.

"And I said that he was going to have to buck his ideas up if he wanted to get into Cambridge, he's coasted by for years and it's not going to get him very far in the big wide world."

Daisy's safely in bed. They've kissed twice so far tonight, once when she arrived, a quick peck, and then a proper kiss as soon as Daisy went to bed…she's still high from it. She could kiss her right now, right here in the kitchen, open her shirt to feel her breast, feel her skin…

"Kate?"

Slide her hand between her legs, hear her sigh, make her moan…

"Kate? Wherever did you go?"

She snaps out of it, disoriented. "Nowhere, I…nowhere."

Caroline's studying her now. Watching. "Dishwasher's on. Shall we go and sit down?"

"Right. Yes. Good idea."

She turns to leave, relieved that she hasn't been caught, but then a firm hand grasps her arm and she's pulled around to face her. She's kissing her before she knows what's happening and it's a few seconds before she can respond. When she does the kiss is so powerful so quickly that she's lost in sensuality. A hand closes around her breast, Caroline thumbing her nipple firmly, rhythmically, over and over.

They kiss and kiss and she has long since lost control – it's just Caroline now, Caroline's lips controlling her lips, her knowing hands controlling her body, sending electric sparks to her pulsing centre. The hand moves down from her breast to cup her firmly between her legs and simply rests there, waiting, waiting, and as she leans into her helplessly it's all she can do not to beg.

"Mummy, what are you doing?"

They fly apart, Caroline hurling herself towards the kitchen counter in a way that she might have found hilarious if it were any other time and place.

"Don't fight Mummy, not Calorine!"

"Sweetheart, it's fine, we're not fighting. Look, Caroline's fine, isn't she?"

Caroline's bright red, trying to subtly wipe her mouth with one hand and tidy up her mess of hair with the other.

"S'not fine, Mummy, you were fighting!"

"Daisy, I promise we weren't fighting," Caroline says earnestly. Kate takes advantage of the moment to adjust her own shirt, checking the buttons are still intact, that she's decent.

"What were you doing?"

"We…" Caroline gazes at her helplessly but she's not going to be much help to her in her over-excited state; her body's throbbing with anticipation, her mind buzzing from the high. "Sweetheart, when two people like each other very much they sometimes kiss each other, did you know that?"

"Mummy kisses me."

"Well, yes, and there are other types of kisses. When two adults like each other very much they kiss a bit more…it's a bit more…they kiss on the mouth."

"On the mouth?"

"Yes, sweetheart."

Daisy thinks about this for a few moments, her brow furrowed.

"Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig do that, 'cause they love each other."

Kate stares at her daughter in silent horror as she realizes what's coming next. She carefully avoids looking at Caroline.

"Do you love mummy?"

Her heart beats heavily in her chest. There's no reply from Caroline; she's probably getting ready to run for the hills.

"I love _you_, Calorine, you're my best favourite."

"I love you too, Daisy," says Caroline, and to Kate's relief Daisy runs over to her and hugs her legs in her excitement, apparently forgetting her previous question.

"Right. So. Back to bed young lady."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, you have to. I expect Caroline will tuck you in if you ask nicely."

Daisy looks up at Caroline with adoring eyes. "Please will you tuck me in Calorine?"

"Of course I will, lovely. Come on."

Their eyes meet as Caroline passes, Kate trying to convey an impossible amount in one glance – that it's absolutely fine that Daisy knows about them, that it's absolutely fine if Caroline doesn't love her, that it's even more fine if she does. Caroline's still blushing, meeting her eyes furtively before disappearing up the stairs.

She goes to the living room and sits down heavily, bracing herself for whatever's coming. Over the monitor she hears Caroline quietly tuck her daughter into bed; five minutes later she returns, smiling at her a little too brightly.

"All tucked up safely."

"Great. Thanks, Caroline. Sorry about…"

"Oh, no, no. Bound to happen. I think she accepted it very well, once she was convinced we weren't murdering each other."

They smile nervously at each other; Kate can't bear to leave it there.

"Sorry about the other thing too. Kids just come out with these things, doesn't mean anything, they're just kids."

"Kate. I have two of them at home and almost 900 extra at work. I know they do. Not a problem."

"Good. Good. Not a word you'd usually mention on a second date." She laughs nervously, wondering why on earth she can't shut up about it. She should really shut up.

"No, I suppose not. It could have been worse, though. She could have asked you why your tongue was in my mouth. I bet they don't do that on Peppa Pig."

"Not that I can remember. Although that Daddy Pig's a bit of a dark horse, I've always thought."

"Dark pig."

"Right. Dark pig."

The tension's easing slightly, but there's something about Caroline's manner that's bothering her – the woman in front of her seems more like the carefully contained, controlled Dr Elliot than the friend she has grown so close to.

"We should probably have a talk with Daisy, explain it to her a bit more calmly. Well, you should, you and Richard."

"Yes, sure. Sure."

"Do you think she'll get bullied about it? I'd hate for her to be unhappy."

"We'll have to see how it goes but there hasn't been a problem so far, and lots of the mums and dads know that I'm gay. One of the children in the infant school has two adopted dads, I think we're in good company. But I'll definitely keep an eye on it."

"Good. And is she…is she aware of any of your, er, any previous…"

"Oh, um, no, no, she isn't, it's been a while since…" She clears her throat, embarrassed. "She isn't."

"So a talk about the birds and the bees is in order? Obviously only the four year-old version of the talk, but one with bird pairings and bee pairings so she doesn't get confused."

"Of course. I'll get right on it."

She's beginning to feel a little irritated – this is definitely Dr Elliot now, giving instructions, expecting compliance. And avoiding the one issue she longs to talk about.

"Kate? Are you all right?"

"Fine."

"You don't seem fine."

"I said I'm fine."

"Do you want me to go?"

"Up to you." Shit. She sounds like a petulant child, sulking because her girlfriend of two minutes hasn't declared her undying love.

"I think perhaps I'll go." Dr Elliot again, stern, disapproving, displeased with a misbehaving pupil.

They stand up simultaneously, Kate following her to the hall and watching in silence as she puts her shoes on. Their eyes meet but neither of them speaks. Caroline's hand is on the door handle before she finally finds her voice.

"Wait. Wait. I'm sorry."

Caroline turns around.

"I didn't mean to act like that. I don't know why I did."

"Don't you?"

"OK. OK. I do. It was totally unfair, you should ignore me."

"This is our second date. You said it yourself."

"I know. I know. It's just…"

"What?"

"It's just that…it's not really our second date. Not for me. We've been seeing each other for weeks, even if we haven't called it dating. And I'd never usually talk about this so early on, and I wish we weren't now, to be honest, but…I think now that Daisy's said it I need to check that we're, not on the same page, exactly, but at least reading the same book. This isn't casual for me, Caroline."

"You think it's casual for me?" she says, sounding pained.

"Is it?"

"No! Of course it isn't! I've never dated anyone casually in my life!"

"Only, I mean, in the kitchen before, you were very…forward. Much more forward than I was expecting, and I thought…"

Caroline gapes at her, a blush rising on her cheeks. Great work, she thinks, you've just embarrassed the poor woman to death.

"God, sorry, that sounded so…crass. It wasn't a complaint, by the way, not anywhere near. I wouldn't have stopped you if Daisy hadn't walked in."

"Then what…"

"Look, maybe I'm wrong, but you don't strike me as someone who has sex on the second date. And if you were going to with me, and the way you reacted when Daisy said…what she said…I thought maybe I'd misread things, that this is not quite what I was hoping for."

"That I'm just in it for the sex?" Dr Elliot's voice again, although not a topic she'd ever heard Dr Elliot talk about.

"No, no. No. Well…yes. Sort of. That you're interested in something less serious than I am. Nothing wrong with that at all but I think we should be honest about where we stand."

There's no reply. She waits anxiously, trying to read her and failing.

"I made John wait an entire year."

"What?"

"For me. For sex. One whole year."

"Wow."

"Yes. Wow."

"Because you wanted to marry him?"

"Because I wasn't all that bothered about having sex with him."

"I…oh. Oh."

"Your logic is inherently flawed, you know. You seem to have somehow decided that the people I'm most romantically interested in are the ones I least want to go to bed with."

"I...have I?"

"Yes. I wouldn't have stopped either, in the kitchen. And you're right, I don't do casual, I don't sleep with people I don't care about. Never have and I certainly don't intend to start now. I wouldn't have broken that rule today, whether we'd stopped or not. We're reading the same book."

It takes a few seconds for the meaning of her words to register, but when they do the relief she feels is palpable. Maybe she doesn't love her yet, but at least they're both in this for real.

"Thank you for saying that."

"We're good?"

"We're good."

"I should probably still get off home, I've got an early start."

"OK. Ring me."

Caroline leans in and gently kisses her. "Oh, and Kate?"

"Mm?"

"How long are we talking, exactly? Since the last time you…" She lets her words trail off but the mischievous look in her eye is impossible to misinterpret.

"None of your beeswax."

"No?"

"No. Off you go."

"So an _enormously_ long time then? Years, are we talking? Multiple decades?"

"I have a four year-old daughter. Your maths is shocking."

"I'm just trying to find out how _enthusiastic_ you might be if we were to…" Caroline grins at her, her eyes sparkling, moving in close to her.

"I'd say about as enthusiastic as you were earlier on, Dr Elliot." They lean in and their lips meet in a slow, highly-charged kiss that turns her on so much she has to put her hands in her pockets to ensure she doesn't try to get hold of her.

"I'll see you soon?" says Caroline.

"You will."

She stands in the doorway and watches happily as she walks to her car. No point feigning indifference at this point – she's practically told her she's in love. And maybe Caroline doesn't feel as deeply as she does yet, maybe it's still a little out of balance, but finally, after all this time, she has a chance to get everything she's ever wanted in the world.


	7. Chapter 7 - Endgame

Author's note: This is the final chapter of Calorine and Daisy and Me. Many thanks to everyone who has been reading and a double thanks to all the lovely people who have commented on the story, it's been really wonderful to read all your reviews. I am already planning out a new McElliot story so I hope you'll watch out for it in the future, the working title is "The Woman Next Door". Thanks again for reading.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seven: Endgame<strong>

"Calorine, you're here, you're here! Mummy, Calorine's in your bed, did you know she was in your bed? I didn't know."

Kate's awakened from a wonderfully deep sleep as her daughter climbs on to the bed and deposits herself on top of her sleepy girlfriend. Memories of the night before come flooding back to her – touches, tastes, heat, wetness and pleasure. She flushes as she remembers how a slightly nervous, tentative Caroline had quickly transformed into a passionate, assertive lover who had left no part of her body untouched or unkissed. God it had been so good.

They hadn't planned for it, but once they had started kissing it had seemed impossible to stop. Thankfully it was the weekend so she wasn't too worried about Caroline being needed elsewhere. The boys were old enough to cope without her for one night and Caroline had had the presence of mind to send William a quick text message to tell him she'd be staying at Kate's. But she would have preferred Daisy to be at Richard's house; a confused little girl is the last thing she wanted. And then, of course, any negative effect on Daisy might give Caroline second thoughts about their relationship, however wonderful their night together had been.

She sits up, watching fondly as a smiling, tousled Caroline hugs Daisy, careful not to let the duvet fall too low and expose her nakedness.

"Daisy?"

"Can we go to the park today Mummy?"

"Daisy, do you remember how we talked about two adults who really like each other, how they spend more time together?"

"And kiss which is yucky, do I have to do kissing when I grow up Mummy?"

"No sweetheart, you don't, although you might change your mind when you're older." She shares a knowing smile with Caroline, relieved to see her look so relaxed. "But kissing's voluntary."

"What?"

"It's your choice. And you only kiss people you really, really like. Do you remember that I said adults sort of form into couples? Like best friends at nursery?"

"Robert wants to be my best friend but he's a boy so I said no."

"Very wise, Daisy," says Caroline seriously. Kate shoots her a look but can't hide her smile completely.

"What I'm saying sweetheart is that when we had our little talk I told you that Caroline and I have decided to be in a couple. Like best friends, the adult version of best friends. And now that we've been a couple for a while we've decided that we like each other so much we're going to spend even more time together and Caroline will stay overnight sometimes. So you might see us kissing, and Caroline might be in my bed sometimes when you wake up. How do you feel about that?"

"Calorine's going to be here in the mornings?" she says, sounding thrilled.

"Yes, sometimes, not every morning, but she'll sleep here sometimes. And we'll be a couple. How do you feel about that Daisy?"

"Can she sleep in my room?"

"No, she'll sleep in here."

"Aw! Not ever?"

"Daisy my love, your bed is tiny and I'm _enormous_," says Caroline, stretching out her arms in exaggeration. "It would be like a hippo in an egg cup."

"That's funny," says Daisy, giggling.

"Do you want to ask us anything?" says Caroline.

"Will you make me breakfast Calorine? Will you take me to the park? Will you buy me an ice cream?"

"I will do at least one and very possibly all of those things. Now, how about you go and play in your room for a little while, seeing as it's still early, and I'll come and get you when it's time for breakfast."

"OK," says Daisy, running off to her room.

Their eyes meet, Caroline's expression a mixture of happiness and a perhaps a little touch of nerves. She smiles at her reassuringly, trying to ignore the fact that they're alone together, naked in a bed.

"Hi," she says.

"Hi."

"Any freaking out going on over there?"

"Freaking out? I'm sorry, I'm unable to understand your young person's vernacular."

She moves closer to her, lying on her side and reaching out an arm to slide it gently around her middle.

"Are you lying here planning your escape?"

"No. That's not what I'm doing."

"Are you thinking that last night was the worst sex you've ever had in your life and you were so bored by the end of it you can't believe you stayed awake?"

A blush starts to rise on her neck; she loves that blush.

"Hardly."

"No?" She leans in so their lips are almost touching. "What are you thinking, Caroline?"

"I'm thinking…" She kisses her softly, tenderly. "I'm thinking that I've had about three hours sleep and I'm awake at 6.30 on a Saturday and I feel absolutely wonderful."

"Sorry about the wake-up call."

"You mustn't apologize. I don't think you know what it's like for me, coming here."

Kate draws back from her slightly, puzzled. "I'm not sure I understand."

"Coming here, to this house. First Daisy, and now you…I don't think you know what it's like." Caroline looks down at the duvet, the blush growing. She's so beautiful, she looks so young and innocent in the early morning light, with her freckles and pale skin and eyes as blue as the ocean.

"What's it like?"

She's still not meeting her eyes but she can tell that her words are heartfelt.

"Daisy treats me as if I'm the most amazing person in the whole wide world, like I'm so special she can hardly believe I'm in the room. And now, with you…the way you look at me sometimes, the way you touched me last night…" The blush deepens and she shifts a little underneath Kate's arm.

"Coming here, to this house, to you two…it's like being the king of the world. You can't imagine how wonderful it feels, Kate."

Kate kisses her gently on the cheek, tightening her hold on her body. "I can imagine," she says. "Believe me."

They lie together quietly, Caroline stroking Kate's arm, Kate nuzzling her cheek. Remembering...

"You think it's genetic?" Kate says after a while.

"What is?"

"In our DNA, Daisy and me, that we love you so much."

She freezes as she realizes what she's said.

"Sorry, that was…there's no filter on my brain at this time of day, I'll come out with anything. Sorry."

She waits in an agony of anticipation, the seconds ticking by as her heart beats.

"It wasn't true?" Caroline says quietly.

Deep breath, she thinks. No point lying to her, she's not stupid.

"It was true."

Another deep breath is needed as the silence begins to stretch out between them. Back in the dim and distant past she seems to remember being so much better at relationships. With Richard she'd been calm and collected even as he stumbled through his courtship; with the women she'd dated after the divorce she'd been physically needy but hadn't had any problem keeping her emotions under control.

But then, of course, that was the point. She was in love; she'd waited her whole life to be truly, deeply, head over heels in love, and now that she was she couldn't hide it. She just had to hope that Caroline wouldn't be scared away.

"I care about you, very much," Caroline says eventually, her voice sincere. "I hope you know that."

"I do. The last thing I want to do is pressure you. I don't normally act like this."

"My experiences have been so limited, Kate. I was in a marriage for 20 years that rubbed along all right but was hardly the romance of the century. Then I was alone, and now you…I had a girlfriend for a while at Oxford but I've never been particularly good at expressing my feelings. That doesn't mean they aren't there. If you can give me a little more time–"

"No, Caroline, I don't want it to be like that, as if I'm waiting for you, as if we're on hold until we both feel exactly the same way. I'm very happy where we are. I don't want you feeling pressured, OK? I don't want you feeling anything but whatever you naturally feel."

Kate draws herself up, propping herself up on her arms as she looks at her.

"For example, whatever you might naturally feel when I do this…" She traces a soft, teasing line down Caroline's chest, moving the duvet downwards and circling a nipple. "What do you feel when I do this, Caroline?"

"I, uh…I don't know if I can…oh." Kate delicately strokes the nipple, softly, tantalising her, relishing the soft sigh that's drawn from her lover.

"Maybe you can show me instead."

* * *

><p>After ten minutes at the park Kate can already tell it's going to be one of those rare, perfect days. Daisy's happily playing on the slide, having made absolutely sure that Caroline understood her strict instructions to watch her at all times. Caroline's sat on a picnic blanket looking radiant, her blonde hair reflecting the sun's rays, her blue eyes shining with happiness. Kate can't take her eyes off her.<p>

"Daisy's so pretty, isn't she," Caroline says wistfully.

"She is. Although it's possible I'm biased."

"She's a lovely colour too."

She thinks she's misheard at first, but then Caroline turns to her looking faintly horrified.

"Sorry, that was a…weird thing to say."

"Uh…yes. It was a bit."

"What I was thinking was that it's nice that she's the colour that she is, her skin's a bit lighter, it's nice that Richard was white-"

"Caroline, what the hell are you-"

"God, sorry, I'm not explaining this very well."

"You're not explaining this at all!"

She stares at her, shocked. This can't be happening, surely; she can't be possibly have just said that.

"That sounded appalling, I know-"

"Yes it did! What's got into you?"

At least she has the grace to look embarrassed.

"What I was thinking was that it was nice that Richard's white because – and this is going to sound crazy too, probably, and I apologize in advance – but I was thinking that it's nice because you can almost imagine that Daisy's-"

"Caroline, if you say 'white' I swear to God-"

"No! God, of course not, of course not!"

"Then what the hell are you talking about?"

Caroline drops her eyes to the grass, her shoulders hunched.

"Ours," she says quietly. "You can almost imagine she's ours."

The indignation leaves her in a breath and a wave of deep affection takes its place.

"Oh, Caroline," she whispers.

"I mean, obviously biologically that's not possible so no-one's going to think that anyway, but still. I rather like it."

She has to take a few moments to catch her breath. Caroline's eyes are fixed on the grass; she looks so vulnerable she wants to comfort her, cuddle her, tell her how amazing she is.

"I like it too." She reaches out and strokes her arm tenderly. "Sorry I jumped to conclusions."

"No, no. I wasn't explaining myself at all well."

"Not really," she smiles. "You gave me a bit of a fright there for a moment."

They watch quietly as Daisy propels herself down the slide for the twentieth time and then waves at them. They wave back in unison.

"She has your temper," Kate says, earning a burst of laughter from the woman beside her.

"Worse than mine, I'd say. When have I ever prostrated myself on the carpet kicking and screaming?"

"Mm, I suppose I haven't see that yet, it's true. But she has your determination. That stubborn streak. She would _not_ take no for an answer when she wanted you at her birthday party."

"She has your social skills. She talks to everyone, makes friends in a flash. Everyone likes her."

Kate smiles at her lovingly. "She has your intelligence."

"She has your eyes."

It's said with so much affection it feels like a caress. Her thoughts drift back to the events of the night before and this morning, the feel of her silken hands all over her body, the feel of her soft lips on her skin.

"I wish we were at home," she says softly. "I need to kiss you."

"Then I wish we were at home too. Make it up to me later?"

"I intend to."

She limits herself to brushing a strand of hair away from Caroline's face, brushing against her skin lightly.

"I do love you, you know," Caroline says quietly, holding her gaze. "I think I've always loved you. I'm sorry I haven't said it before, the emotional side of life really isn't my forte. But I do. Both of you, come to that. I think it's in my DNA, too."

It's so unexpected that it goes straight to her heart, warming her through, lighting her up from the inside.

"We really need to go home," she says, half-laughing, half in tears.

"Daisy hasn't had her ice cream yet. I promised."

"Ice cream first, then. And then home."

Caroline kisses her gently on the cheek and smiles at her, the love so clear in her eyes. "And then home."

* * *

><p><strong><span>Epilogue<span>**

"Right. So, this is our big announcement Daisy, are you listening? Are you properly listening or are you trying to put your skirt on the cat? Right, so sit still please. So. Daisy, Caroline asked me to marry her and I love her very much so I said yes. So we're going to get married!"

Daisy's silent, looking at each of them in turn.

"What do you think about that?"

Her daughter ponders the question for a little while.

"Can I be a bridesmaid?"

"Of course," says Caroline. "We'll need you to be our absolute best bridesmaid, we'll get you a lovely pretty dress."

"What colour?"

"We don't know yet, sweetheart."

"Mm. Can I choose?"

"We'll choose the colours together, all three of us, how does that sound?"

Daisy thinks about this. She doesn't look upset but she doesn't look happy either. Kate exchanges a worried look with Caroline.

"Can I go and play now?"

"Daisy, is there anything you want to ask us?" says Caroline.

"You said you'd _play_ with me Caroline, you promised!"

"And I absolutely will, sweetheart, but we're talking now, aren't we? Is there something you're not sure about, about your mummy and me getting married?"

"No. Can we have fishfingers for tea with no peas please, peas are horrible?"

It's beginning to dawn on Kate that her daughter might not be entirely clear as to the finer details of married life.

"Sweetheart, when two people get married, what do you think happens?"

"They go to a big church and wear pretty dresses and God's there and he does something and, um, the vicar makes them wear rings."

"And what do you think happens afterwards?"

"Mm, nothing. Robert's mummy and daddy got married and he said that he didn't know why because nothing happened."

"Well, one thing that usually happens is that if the people getting married haven't lived together before, they usually do after they're married."

Silence.

"So that would mean that you and me and Caroline and Lawrence and William would all live in the same house together, we'd be a big family all together. What do you think of that?"

"Caroline?"

"Yes, sweetheart. In a house, living with us, all the time. All in the same home."

She can tell what's coming next but it still makes her jump – Daisy throws herself bodily at Caroline, squealing with joy. Caroline's knocked backwards on the sofa, struggling to get hold of the wriggling bundle in her arms. She looks a bit shell-shocked.

"So is that all right with you, Daisy? Do you approve?"

"Yes yes yes! Best day _ever_!"

"I think we can take that as a yes, Caroline."

Caroline can't speak, partly due to the weight of a hyperactive six year-old pressing down on her and partly due to the weight of her emotions.

"Why are you crying? Mummy, why's she crying?"

"She's...she's..." She tries to swallow down the lump in her throat.

"I'm happy, my love," Caroline manages.

"But people cry when they're sad."

"And when they're really, really happy, too. And I'm really, really happy."

"Oh. When we live in the same house will you read me a story every night?"

"Yes."

"Will you brush my hair in the morning?"

"Yes."

"Will you make me eat stupid peas like mummy does?"

"Yes!"

"But Caroline-"

"No arguments about peas. They're good for you. That's final."

"Hmph. Will you play with me now, you can be the train driver this time if you want to, I'll let you because you're going to live with me."

"That's very kind of you sweetheart, why don't you run along and set up the track and I'll be there in five minutes."

"Okey-dokey."

They watch as Daisy skips away happily. Kate takes a deep breath and turns to her fiancée.

"That went well."

"It did. It did."

"You know, sometimes I think that little girl loves you more than she loves me."

She's joking, but Caroline looks horrified.

"No she doesn't! Of course she doesn't, you're her mother! I'm just her-"

"You're not _just_ anything. You're her Calorine."

They smile at each other, memories of their first blissful months together flooding her heart with warmth.

"I almost miss being her Calorine, you know."

She leans into her and places a soft kiss on her lips.

"You're still _my_ Calorine," she says. "Always."


End file.
